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It's the little things that make my day. Friday night, it was on the Water Taxi at Michigan Avenue when the guy said, "All aboard!" I couldn't have been more pleased. I was almost ready to answer back, "Anchors Away!" I refrained because I generally choose to have decorum in polite society. Anyhow, I was thinking about how old fashioned "all aboard" is and how I will be very sad the day it is never functionally used. I have never been one to embrace new slang...

Speaking of speech, I am apprehsive of that used in the remake of Pride & Prejudice. I'm confused as to why we need another so soon, being that the wildly popular BBC version starring Colin Firth is not more than 10 years old. But I guess they need a light-weight version for those who wish to not sit through 5 hours of Jane Austin. I digress. My complaint about the new P&P (which I have yet to see) was that on the preview, I saw a flat-chested Kiera Knightly whining, "He's so rich!" Lizzie would never say that. Oh well, my mom said I still have to see it. Das ist leben.

Let me explain the title of my blog: Walking up escalators. It is a fundamental thing about me. Nothing infuriates me more than being forced to stand still. It's not like standing is easier (unless luggage is present), but time can be saved and calories can be burned. I can't tell you how many times I've missed trains because people will standing idle on an escalator. Anyhow, it's one of my interview questions for if I could ever go out with someone. I honestly don't think I could grow old with a stander. I'd rather walk alone.

So now that we bring up my interview questions, you know the first, here are the top ten:

1. Do you walk up escalators or do you stand?
2. Do you believe in free trade?
3. Have you ever forwarded on an email encouraging people not to buy fuel on a specific day?
4. Do you own any R. Kelly albums?
5. Do you have a peculiar affinity for NASCAR?
6. Do you think that Carbohydrates are the source of everything that is wrong in the world?
7. Are you able to admit publicly that you actually kind of like the Olive Garden?
8. Have you ever been sucked into a Reality TV show?
9. Have you ever broken up with a girl because you learned her parents couldn't afford to send her to space camp as a child (true story)?
10. Have you ever voluntarily shopped at a Walmart?

These are the FUNDAMENTAL things that I cannot compromise on. I'll let you decide what the correct answer is to the 10 questions. I don't think it's asking too much, and I refuse to compromise on these core values.